I wish I could say I wasn’t waiting for it – hoping for it really. Seeing all the carnage, the suffering, the death – well, it’s enough to make almost anyone look sheepishly around and whistle an innocent tune. But that would be disingenuous, and that’s not really cool.

No, I did, I’m guilty. I wanted it to happen. And really, the first time I actually saw a zombie; felt the appropriate stab of fear, and then the wash of cool calmness as I realized I could handle this due to years of planning and fantasizing and wishing, well, any sense of guilt I may have felt ( or still feel) subsided with very little argument. Because Zombiegeddon doesn’t leave much room for pondering one’s feelings, or philosophizing. You are either living, dead, dying, or the living dead.

I myself am living, and I have no plans for that to change. I find it rather easy to stay that way. As I said, I’d been preparing for it for years. I once saw this documentary about the amazing powers of the human brain, wherein these gymnasts, as part of their training, visualized themselves learning challenging new moves, and as a result of the brain visualizing these moves the muscles associated with them actually grew stronger and “remembered” the necessary movements, so that the athletes then found it easier and more effective when they physically attempted the actions. Well, I figure there was something similar at work in my brain all those years, because I find it to be second nature to kill zombies. Like it’s what I was born to do (although that is a bit dramatic for my tastes).

And it’s not just the killing. There is a whole lifestyle that is necessary to adopt during the zombie armageddon, that some people just can’t handle. But for me, it’s like a vacation. No money, no politics, no drama whatsoever, except of course the obvious drama of zombies walking around trying to kill and eat people. It kinda overrides everything. Every problem that you may have had before simply melts away, and all that’s left to do is grab a gun and get back to the problem of living.

Zombies have always been a metaphor. “They’re us and we’re them”. No shit. Now it’s a cliché, but it used to mean something. Zombiegeddon is no different. It was a shot to the heart to the business of living. I don’t need to tell most people that life is very rarely lived. Or at least it used to be. People walked around in a fog of pop culture and psychologically and socially induced misery. Money made it worse, adding greedy consumerism and comfortable apathy to the mix. And then, theoretically, you’d die. Now though, if you want to live, you really have to want to live. You have to be present and accounted for every minute of every day and you have to fight for your life. It’s beautiful.

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